Wanda's Day Off! (transcript)
Script (The episode starts in Timmy's room where Timmy and Cosmo host a 'Wanda Appreciation Day!') *'Wanda: '''It's really nice of you guys to want to give me a day off! *'Timmy: (gives her a present) You deserve it, Wanda. You're always taking care of me and Cosmo, you deserve a little time for yourself. *'Wanda: '(shaking the present) Are you sure you don't need me? (picks up chocolate from inside the present) *'''Timmy: '''Hey, we're just working on my biology report. (takes out biology book) *Cosmo: And I can totally handle it! Me and Timmy are gonna go find out what animals think about. (Timmy and Cosmo tap their heads) *'Wanda: '''Ok. But if you boys need me, just give me a holler. *'Cosmo: '(holding a lit bomb) Aw, will you quit worrying? (Wanda poofs away the bomb and Cosmo smiles at her) *'Timmy: 'Have a nice day off, Wanda! (Cosmo poof him and Timmy away while Wanda poofs herself in a gown, lies on a chair with a fan and drink next to her) *'Wanda: 'Now this is more like it! (the scene cuts to underwater where Timmy and Cosmo are captured by a giant octopus) *'Timmy: 'Aaaaaahhhh!! *'Cosmo: 'I can handle it! (ink is squirted into their face. Wanda poofs in, changes to an ink pen and squirts ink into the octopus' face until they let go of Timmy and Cosmo. Wanda poofs away) *'Timmy: '(wiping ink off his face) Squids. Way too inky. Wanna try reptiles? *'Cosmo: 'No problem! (Cosmo poofs them into a pit of snakes, dress similarly to Indiana Jones, and Cosmo is trying to reach for his wand that a snake has captured) *'Timmy: 'Problem! *'Cosmo: 'I can handle it! I... (Wanda poofs in, changes to a snake charmer and plays her flute to make the snake dance away) *'Timmy: Ok squids, dangerous. Snakes, very dangerous. How about we go with the birds? *'Cosmo: '''You got it, Timmy! (Timmy and Cosmo are poofed into the next scene where they are in the mouth of a large bird about to feed them to its young) *'Cosmo and Timmy: Aaaaahhhh!!! (Wanda poofs in unexpectedly, still lounging in a chair while watching television) *'Wanda: '''Oh, for the love of Pete! *'Cosmo: 'Who's Pete? Someone I should know about?! (Wanda poofs them back into Timmy's room before they're dropped into the bird's beaks) *'Wanda: 'This isn't exactly how I wanted to spend my day off! *'Timmy: 'Maybe you should get away to some place special. *'Wanda: 'Well, it's never even crossed my mind to do that but, if I were to take a day off, (a pile of pink suitcases poof in as she unravels a pamphlet) I'd go to the Fairyworld Magic Springs Spa! *'Cosmo: '(laughs) But that's only for the beautiful fairies! (Wanda glares at Cosmo) *'Cosmo: '(nervously) And you need a reservation! *'Timmy: 'Or I could wish you there and then they'd have to let you stay! *'Wanda: 'You're right! *'Timmy: 'Cosmo and I promise, we'll keep the magic to a minimum so you can have maximum relaxation! *'Cosmo: 'Yeah, what he said! *'Timmy: 'I wish you were at the Fairyworld Magic Springs Spa! (Wanda poofs herself away and the scene changes to the reception at the spa where Wanda poofs in) *'Wanda: 'Hi, I'm Wanda and I'm here for my all expenses free totally wished for day of relaxation! (Fairies in reception sound annoyed) *'Receptionist: 'Oh, phoo! Don't listen to them. Let me show you around. We have hot tubs, mud baths, that silly cucumber on the eyes treatment and this... (opens the door to a darkened room lit with candles and a table in the middle) this is where ''he ''massages the fairies. *'Wanda: 'Oh, that looks wonderful! Where do I wait? *'Receptionist: 'You? You wait here... (opens a door and kicks Wanda inside until a garbage pail) ...with the rest of the fairies who got wished here without a reservation! (a crowd of fairies laugh at her while she takes off cucumbers off her eyes, looking angrily at them. Meanwhile back at Timmy's kitchen, Timmy and Cosmo are eating sandwiches) *'Timmy: 'Ok, the report's due tomorrow. I have to pick an animal that won't strangle, bite or eat me or any combination of the three! (food falls out of Timmy's sandwich and a cockroach comes over to eat it) *'Cosmo: 'Uhh, how about that cockroach? *'Timmy: 'Yeah! Let's stare at him and learn what he's thinking about! (stares at the cockroach with Cosmo for a couple of seconds before becoming bored) *'Cosmo: 'Are we done yet? I got nothing and this is boring. *'Timmy: 'We haven't learned anything! *'Cosmo: '(excitedly) Make a wish! Make a wish! *'Timmy: 'I don't know, Cosmo. With Wanda not here and you... being here... being you... (Cosmo looks miserable and his lips tremble) *'Timmy: 'Aw c'mon, Cosmo, don't take it that way! It's not that I don't trust you, it's just... no wait, it's pretty much that. (Cosmo cries, blubbering about how Timmy doesn't trust him,saying, "No one trusts me...) *Timmy: (drowning in Cosmo's tears) Ok, ok! One teeny wish and that's it. I wish that cockroach was smart enough to tell us what he was thinking. *Cosmo: Yay! You can totally trust me! (Cosmo waves his wand and the cockroach stands up on two legs before pulling out a large gun) *'Cockroach: '''WORLD DOMINATION! (takes a spoonful of food from the floor before he leaves) *'Timmy: 'That can't be good. *'Cosmo: '''See? I told you I could handle things. (back at the spa, a line of fairies are anxiously waiting outside the door of 'him'. The door opens and reveals Juandissimo Magnifico) *Juandissimo: Hello, beautiful ladies. (shirt rips off) ''Por favor, ''allow me to introduce my magic fingers! (stroke's a fairies chin and makes her melt) Now, which one of you mundane nobodies considers yourselves deserving of the tough of... Jundissimo Magnifico! (shirts rips off three times) Ah! You! (points at Wanda, sitting in the garbage pail) *Wanda: 'Me? *'Fairies: 'Her?! *'Juandissimo: '(poofs Wanda next to her) Wanda! Is it ''possible? ''The love of my life who I lost to Cosmo who married you when I lost you so you stayed lost to me?! *'Fairy #1: 'You know him? *'Fairy #2: 'You know her? *'Wanda: 'Know him? I dated him. And I don't think Cosmo would like it if I stayed here... (getting a shoulder massage from Juandissimo) for more than a few hours! *'Juandissimo: 'Begone! My eight little friends and I have work to do! (carries Wanda into his room) (scene changes to Timmy's kitchen where the cockroaches had advanced to the point of creating a tiny city on the kitchen floor) *'Timmy: '(writing down) Gifted with intelligence... roaches built futuristic society in... three hours! *'Cosmo: 'Uh, I guess I made the roach leader too smart. Should we be worried? *'Timmy: 'Not unless the figured out they're the only living creatures in the world that would survive a nuclear war! (a large atom bomb labelled 'USA' crashes through the kitchen wall and the cockroach rejoice) *'Cosmo: 'Maybe it's just a coincidence. *'Timmy: 'And maybe we should call Wanda? (getting surrounded by roaches) *'Cosmo: 'No! I can handle this! All we have to do is introduce the cockroaches to its natural predator; the african bullfrog! *'Timmy: '(tied up by roaches) That seems logical. Ok, let there be frogs! (Cosmo waves his wand and a pile of frogs are poofed in. 9 minutes later, the roaches have mounted the frogs like horses and tied up Timmy and Cosmo) *'Timmy: '(writing down) Roaches continue to show single-minded. Cosmo continues to show empty-mindedness. *'Cockroach: 'FASTER WORLD DOMINATION! *'Timmy: 'You know what? Let's not take any chances. I wish the roaches were dead! *'Cosmo: 'Ok! (his wand glows for a moment before failing to work) Oh, oh no. Not only can you not kill them with a nuclear weapon, you can't kill them with magic either! *'Timmy: 'We're dead. (meanwhile Wanda is almost falling asleep as she receives a massage from Juandissimo) *'Wanda: '(wakes up) Uh oh! My Cosmo-is-going-to-make-Timmy-dead sense is tingling! *'Juandissimo: 'Relax, my ex for whom I do not pine for in any manner whatsoever, (shirt rips off and moves his pecs) I, and my fingers, have yet to have begun to pamper you! (oils hands) *'Wanda: 'Well, maybe I should call Cosmo, just to make sure everything is ok! (Juandissimo reluctantly turns his oil bottle into a cellphone and gives it to Wanda. Cosmo's cellphone beeps as he pokes his head out of a pile of cockroaches) *'Cosmo: 'Aahh! (opens phone) No, nothing's wrong. I'm just totally bored to death with my big day off of no wishing! *'Wanda: 'Are you sure? Because I could just poof back there in a minute. (Juandissimo looks distressed, and Timmy jumps out of another pile of cockroaches to bat away more roaches with a tennis racket) *'Timmy: 'Wanda!! (gets covered in roaches) Wanda!! *'Wanda: 'Is that Timmy crying 'Wanda'? *'Cosmo: 'No! That's Timmy crying 'I'm on-da phone'! (pretends to be breaking up) And... love... miss... pudding... uh, you're breaking up! Uh, I'm going through a tunnel! (gets covered in roaches) Ah, this tunnel's itchy! (hangs up) *'Wanda: 'Cosmo? Hello? *'Juandissimo: '(grabs phone and throws it away) See? You worry too much! All is well. Which means it is now time... (stands on Wanda's head) ...for my swirly pink hair dance! (dances with a rose in his mouth) (back at Timmy's house, there are aliens blasting lasers at the Earth) *'Cockroach: 'MARTIANS ARE INVADING! WE NEED REINFORCEMENTS! *'Timmy: '(standing on top of the atom bomb) Martians? You brought martians in to fight the roaches?! *'Cosmo: 'You said nothing on Earth could destroy them so I picked something not from Earth! (aliens hit Earth with lasers and roaches slingshot rocks at the UFOs) *'Timmy: 'Martians destroy everything except roaches! Don't you watch the movies? *'Cosmo: 'Aw Timmy, please! (grabs Timmy's shirt) Wanda's gonna be home any minute! If she sees this, she's gonna think I'm an idiot! *'Timmy: 'And this is news to her how? (Cosmo continues to cry) *'Timmy: 'Oh great, the lower lip thing. Ok, I'm sure we'll think of something. *'Cosmo: '(smiles then excitedly flies in the sky) Yay! Plan "B"! (gets blasted by a laser gun) (back at the spa, Wanda is sitting by the bar bragging about her massage to the other girls sitting beside her) *'Wanda: 'Ah, who else got the swirly pink hair dance? Anybody, no? Just me? (smiles towards Juandissimo) This has been the most relaxing day ever! *'Juandissimo: '(grabs her arm) Then do not depart! Stay... here... with me! *'Wanda: 'What are you, nuts? This was nice, but I feel refreshed and raring to get back to where I'm needed, and that's with Cosmo and Timmy! (poofs away) *'Juandissimo: '(pulls out mirror) Nooooo! (smiles at himself, then throws it away) Noooooooo!! *'Wanda: '(poofed into Timmy's room) Timmy! Cosmo! I'm back, I'm... (Timmy and Cosmo are sitting nearby playing a game of go fish) *'Timmy: 'Got any three's? *'Cosmo: 'What's a three? *'Wanda: 'Uh, is everything ok? *'Timmy: 'Oh yeah, we're cool. *'Cosmo: 'Yeah, what did you expect? *'Wanda: 'Pandemonium? Disaster? *'Cosmo: 'I told you I could handle it! *'Wanda: 'Well that's great, sweetie. But to tell the truth I don't think I'll be taking another day off for a while. Time off is fun but cleaning up after your messes is what I live for! *'Timmy: 'So what you're saying you'd rather fix our mistakes than relax at a spa? *'Wanda: 'Every time! *'Cosmo: 'Yay! (puts arm around her) Then do I have good news for you! (kicks down the wall and reveals the world covered in fire and roaches, the roaches setting a timer on the atom bomb to go off in 15 seconds) *'Cockroach: '(riding the bomb) Wahoo! Total world domination! *'Wanda: 'Oh, you would have let the world blow up just to give me a day off? *'Cosmo and Timmy: 'Yeah, sure, whatever! (smiles at her) *'Wanda: '(flies over to them to give them both a hug) I love you guys... ''but you're idiots! *'Cosmo and Timmy: '''But we're ''your ''idiots! (atom bomb reaches to one second and Cosmo and Timmy are screaming in each others arms) *'Cosmo and Timmy: 'Aaaahhhh!! *'Wanda: 'Music to my ears! (waves her wand and everything goes back to normal, the remainder of the atom bomb is in a bird's nest) *'Timmy: 'Thanks for saving us again, Wanda! And look at this awesome cover I made for my biology report! *'Cosmo: 'Yeah! Maybe I can't handle things on my own, but who cares! (puts his arm around Wanda) As long as it keeps you around, baby! (Wanda kisses him and hearts float around them) *'Timmy: 'But I thought you couldn't kill roaches with magic? *'Wanda: 'Well duh, everybody knows that. *'Cosmo: 'Not me! *'Wanda: 'You have to poof them somewhere else! *'Timmy: 'Where'd you send them? (Wanda smiles and the scene cuts to the roaches landing at the Fairy World Magic Springs Spa) *'Cockroach: 'Fairworld domination! (fairies fly around screaming and run out of a tent where Juandissimo runs after them, covered in roaches) *'Juandissimo: '''Ladies, come back! Underneath my crunchy roach exterior beats the heart of a lover! (the episode ends with Juandissimo disappearing into a ball of cockroaches) Category:Incomplete Transcripts Category:Episode transcripts